California Sweep

How sweet it is!!!

alg_joba-reacts.jpgThey can’t all be the Minnesota Twins, boys. Sooner or later you have to play baseball against a real baseball team.

Enter the Los Anaheim Angels of California, USA.

Is it me or do these halo-headed Yankee killers seem to take a certain pride in bursting the Bomber’s bubble, in humiliating the Worst Team In Baseball? When I watch the Angel’s slaughter the Yankees I can’t stop smiling… there’s a joy in the way LA destroys them.

At the halfway point we check the numbers:

– The Yankees have been 0-8 against the Red Sox, and they head into the break 3 games out of first.

– Joba Chamberlain, everyone’s favorite disappointment, is 4-2 with a 4.25 ERA

– A-Rod is hitting .256… Tex, .275

– You can call it a strain of the lower-interior assbone if you’d like, but we all know Wang is mentally destroyed and will most likely never return to his former glory.

With a line-up of store-bought All-Stars, the highest payroll in the history of sports, and a little league-sized stadium you Yankee fans can keep your RBI & Home Run numbers.

You’re still the worst team in baseball.

Enjoy the All-Star break!


Where’s Wang? (more…)

Yankees Sweep Mets at Home


I need to be alone right now. •

Meet The Mess

This is called pain. This is called humiliation.

Last night’s Yankees/Mets game gave me horrific flashbacks of the 2ooo World Series, when the Yankees were the best team in baseball and my Mets were like frightened squirrels darting all over the road to avoid being squashed.

Yep, the Yankees played their first game at Citi Field- a stadium that makes their own look like the elitist toilet that it is- and managed to look brilliant because of the stressed, shoddy play of the Amazin’s.

Hey, what can you expect from a team with 3 All-Stars and 2 starting pitchers on the Disabled List? The Mets have been decimated by injury. Does that excuse Alex Cora throwing the ball away? Nick Evans juggling a grounder? Bobby Parnell’s balk? Not even close.
As usual Mike Pelfrey looked outmatched and petrified, and as usual we Met fans were treated to assurances by our announcers that Mr. Mike was actually a very good pitcher- in theory. Too bad baseball isn’t theory.We also got announcers Gary Cohen & Ron Darling– usually the best in the game- speculating whether Fernando Tatis was secretly injured after he failed to throw to second on Robinson Cano’s double.

Stop making excuses for bad baseball. Tatis was asleep and Cano took full advantage. As he should have. Oh, and about my fellow Met fans sarcastically cheering Luis Castillo on pop-up plays after his game-losing drop in the first Subway Series? It’s not funny.

There’s nothing funny about playing bad baseball. There’s nothing funny about losing.

I could go off on my problems with my own team for about two weeks… that’s the reason I don’t do a Mets blog- I’d lose my mind. But what was criminal about last night’s game was that the struggling Mets team- who have actually been playing surprisingly well- choked in the glare of the spotlight and let this pathetic bunch of sloppy hotshots push them around at home.

And you wonder why I hate them.


The Golden Sombrero

Passionate Southern soldiers against those damned Northern Yankees… where have I heard this story before? Luckily for y’all I flunked history…

Game 1 of the Civil War Series: It was 87 degrees Tuesday night in Atlanta as rookie Braves pitcher Tommy Hanson threw 5.1 innings of shutout baseball against the struggling New York Yankees.

Alex Rodriguez was 0-4 on the night, lowering his average to .207. Ready to strangle him yet?

Nick Swisher was 0-5 with a failed bunt attempt. (Poor baby has the National League Fever).

Mark Teixeira
was 0-3 with a Walk.

Jorge “Highway” Posada was 0-4 on the night as well… I’m starting to notice a pattern here… the Yankee offense was shut down by the Braves pitching.

Some of you might not know the baseball term “Golden Sombrero.” It’s a fictitious (sarcastic) award given out to anyone who goes 0-for on the day. So to A-Rod, Swish, Tex & Jorge, please step to the front of the room to receive your Golden Sombrero… one per All-Star, boys…

On a side note, the Wangster pitched just well enough to earn another start, now 0-6 on the season…. maybe he’s trying to bring the team down from the inside?

This is a night the Yankees are going to work very hard to forget. My advice to you: start drinking heavily.

Hey, it worked for Bluto…


CC Ya!

So the Yankees lost two out of three in Florida. It seems like everywhere they go Losses follow them. Why is that I wonder? Can you tell by my typing that I’m grinning ear-to-ear?

For all you Yankee fans who have bombarded me with Hate Mail recently, I ask only that you think about your words. Although I hate the Yankees team & organization, I have nothing against you people personally- although Yankee fans who call WFAN to ask for Zach Greinke make me see red. Do you really believe you deserve every great Major League player? Do you buy into this “destiny” nonsense? What made your team God’s chosen ones? How do you think the fans in Cleveland and Baltimore feel, having their All-Stars stripped away from them at the end of every contract by the all-consuming Yankees, who are still chasing the high from their classic ’98 team?

It’s over, folks… give some other teams a chance. •

Blame It On The Blindman

So… AJ Burnett seemed to bury the hatchet with Jorge Posada (instead of burying it in Jorge’s head) and pitched a gem of a game against the Marlins on Saturday night: 6.1 innings, 1 Earned Run, 8 Strikeouts and only 3 Walks. Unfortunately… Johnny “Magoo” Damon was playing left field.

JohnnyDamon.jpgJohnathan has been having eye trouble this season. He was placed on the Disabled List after dropping a fly from David Ortiz in Boston on June 11th. The diagnosis: his eyelids were fluttering involuntarily, so doctors told him to lay off the caffeine and Red Bull in the hopes it was just a nervous reaction.

It may be more than just a nervous reaction.

In the 6th inning of Saturday night’s game Johnny Damon got his glove on a line drive from Jorge Cantu, but failed to catch it and let it roll to the wall, allowing Hanley Ramirez to score what would stand as the game-winning run, wasting a beauty of a performance by Burnett, who may currently be chasing Johnny around Florida in fast-motion.

This loss hurts, so I’m feeling especially wonderful… and here’s a tip for Johnny-Boy: Your former teammate David Ortiz got his eyes checked earlier this year… maybe you could ask him to give you and your seeing-eye dog a ride to the optometrist.

Aw hell, what do I care…? Have another Red Bull.


Who Framed Jorge Posada?

JorgePosada3.jpgWe’ve definitely got a mystery going on here… a mini-mutiny within the Yankees clubhouse. The white-hot rumor is that the starting pitching staff does not want to pitch to catcher Jorge Posada.

Okay, we’re not counting good ‘ole boy Andy Pettitte who got the Win last night… he’s a longtime teammate of Posada’s and seems fine with him, so who could have issues with Jorge? Who hates him, why, and what can be done about it? We’ll look at the suspects below:

112.jpgCC Sabathia– CC is 3-1 in games caught by Posada and 3-3 with other catchers. (This obviously only counts games in which he got a decision.) I’ve never heard a peep from Sabathia about disliking Posada, and it wouldn’t surprise me if he didn’t care who he threw to at all. I think we can safely rule out Carsten Charles…

wang.jpgChien-Ming Wang I think the Wangster has bigger fish to fry at this point in his career- like trying to stay in the Majors. Can’t be him…

111.jpgJoba Chamberlain– This is definitely the source of some of the friction. On Joba’s June 12th start against the Mets he shook off Posada so many times that Posada actually came to the mound- twice- to argue. The two of them actually looked like they might throw their gloves to the grass and start fighting. Joba is a master at eluding decisions- for his thirteen starts this season he’s got 3 Wins and 2 Losses- and his soft 3.89 ERA is bad but not disastrous. He may not like Jorge’s style but he certainly can’t blame him for his mediocre performance.

114.jpgAJ Burnett– AJ is rumored to despise Posada, but he can’t blame his soggy season (5-3 with a 4.46 ERA) on the man. Rumor has it that Allan James has specifically asked Girardi to not play Jorge for his starts, openly admitting that he prefers rookie catcher Francisco Cervelli, so it will be interesting to see who’s behind the plate for AJ’s start today.

113.jpgJoe Girardi– It’s tough coming from a former teammate, and a former catcher, but Joe G has the unfortunate task of having to bench Posada for defensive reasons and try to delicately get the message across that Jorge’s days as an everyday player might be coming to an end. A 38 year-old catcher is a terrible sight, and Jorge’s too headstrong to realize he’s becoming a liability to his team.
So are these personal attacks against Posada? Maybe. He may be too much of a gamer, too intense and too demanding for a team that seems quite happy playing home-run derby and splattering cream pies. Posada may be a remnant from another Yankee era: the great ’98 team is all but extinct.

When the Yankees ran out of pitchers in a blowout loss to Tampa Bay earlier this year, new-Yankee Nick Swisher stepped onto the mound and pitched an inning. The only Yankee not laughing was Jorge, who commented afterward, “”I think today was embarrassing…” He didn’t seem to realize this team has a very different personality than Steinbrenner & Torre’s clean-shaven warriors… it’s no wonder these guys don’t like him.

So is it the way he calls the games that Joba and Burnett don’t like? Could Jorge truly be as stubborn as he appears? It’s hard to ignore the fact that every player on the team loves the kid Cervelli… he seems to fit in much better with the new-look Yankees. The Posada backlash is coming to a boil… let’s hope everyone gets scalded.

Objects In Mirror May Be Worse Than They Appear


What a beautiful day! Sure it was pouring buckets of rain all day here in New York, and the Yankees had to sit through a 5 1/2 hour delay, but what matters is that they got the game in.

And that they lost.

To the Nationals.

And of course they lost the series.

To the Nationals, whose record coming in was 16 Wins and 45 losses. The worst team in baseball came into town and beat the Yankees 2 out of 3, shutting out the billion-dollar All-Star Yankee lineup tonight. It’s a beautiful thing.

So is A-Rod’s deepening slump… our glove-slapping, pop-up-calling hero has season stats that read like a rap sheet: He’s had more at-bats than Brett Gardner but has fewer hits, his average currently down to a laughable .212 on the season after going 0-for-Washington. But the lizard-faced Prince of Evil isn’t the only Yankee to blame…

Joba Chamberlain has lost 3-to-4 miles off his once-intimidating fastball, and this “special kid” who Yankee brass insisted would one day be a “great starter” is 3-2 on the season with a soft 3.89 ERA. At this rate he won’t be a 7-game winner on the season! Will it be weeks or months before they bury him back in the bullpen?

Nick Swisher has come to ground. Big time. Reality has befallen our clown prince and his average has dropped to a more realistic .244, helped in no small part by his going 4 for his last 26 at-bats! Youch! Who could have seen this coming? Oh, that’s right- ME!

– And who can forget Big Wang? All the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put Chien-Ming back together againg. (Sorry, it rhymed.) His semi-decent performance on Wednesday only helped to hide the fact that he still hasn’t gotten back what he lost, whatever that was. At this point his poor performance has to be mostly mental, yet he seems completely unwilling or unable to reverse it. Hey, at least he got his ERA down to 12.65… hooray!

It’s nice to see the Yankees ultra-groove from a few weeks ago come to a painful, screeching halt… it’s great to hear A-Rod get booed by his hometown fans… at this point he must see the next ten years as more of a prison sentence than a contract. And it was wonderful to witness the first homer-free game in the history of the New (New) Yankee Stadium. Maybe the Bombers were just helping poor Manny Acta hold onto his job… maybe they should turn their efforts toward helping Girardi save his…

See you fellas in Florida…

Oh, and by the way… I’m no fan of Michael Kay but is there any particular reason that his bitter, skull-faced partner John Flaherty treats him like garbage? He told Kay last week that broadcasting and hosting a radio show “wasn’t real work.” Sounds like the has-been/never-was former catcher has a case of cabin-booth fever. We want Singleton & Cone! And of course the gorgeous Kim Jones

The Boston Massacre

I’ve been saying for some time that the Yankees are a team of cream pies, of paper all-stars and greedy mercenaries, a team without heart or soul.

The humiliation in Boston this week proved me right.

The Yankees came into this series in first place, and 0-and-5 on the season against the Sox. They finished in the pouring rain, broken, without a single series win, as Boston has now owned them for the year 8 to nothing!

Papelbon has been perfection, slamming the door shut in the 9th on Wednesday & Thursday.

The elderly David Ortiz comes alive against the Yankees, whacking a shot past the Monster and bashing them for a .321 average, compared to his .203 average on the season.

Dustin Pedroia defined MVP as he battled CC Sabathia in a ten pitch at-bat to draw a walk and eventually score the tying run off Jason Bay’s hit.

Mike Lowell is one of my favorite situational hitters: when he has to get the run in, he gets the run in. Last night he got the go-ahead run in on a fly to center.

The go-ahead run became the winning run. The winning streak became a dominance over the Yankees, and the Yankees faces were red not just with shame, but from the shock of being slapped in the face by a team that is in all ways superior.

Home-run derby in the Bronx is absolutely adorable, but in Boston the Red Sox play baseball. If the Yankees expect to survive they’ll have to learn to play too.